Category Archives: Sarcasm

Spam and the legal profession

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Once upon a time...back when the Internet was young. And I mean most people still did not have an email address, much less email addresses for their various roles, some legal eagle decided to put a footer on their emails indicating they were privileged information and that if you were not the intended recipient you should destroy it, etc. You may have seen them, and they are still kicking around, depend on who you do business with and what their job is. It has been generally agreed they are not legally binding, much less even enforceable, but if it makes you feel better when you write highly confidential information on a postcard, knock yourself out.

Today, on a very colorful spam message, saying I was awarded a scholarship to a real US University I neither applied to nor that the message has any actual affiliation with, the following legalize was attached:

Disclaimer: The information in this email and any attachments contains proprietary, confidential and legally privileged information and therefore is intended only for the person(s)/recipient(s) named in the message header. Further all such proprietary, confidential and privileged information is owned by Brain4ce Education Solutions Private Limited operating through its brand Edureka. 

If you are not the addressee/recipient of this message, you shall not copy, forward, print, distribute, disclose or use any part of this message. If you have received this message inadvertently, please immediately notify the sender about the same and delete this message and all copies from your system.

Yes, the spammer is fronting for a US University but is really claiming to be Edureka, which based on the Internet reviews is either a full up scam or valuable use of money. Since the document itself is so full of bogus links and contains an Indian call back number (no US Institution would ever do that), I have to say the whole thing is pretty much a giant scam and I will not be sending them my $1250 USD, even though I was awarded a scholarship. I really need a new NAS drive anyway.

Admissions Office: Academic Year 2024

To,
Selected Learner / Candidate

This is to inform you that, you are selected for the special scholarship for Post Graduation Program in DevOps Engineering given by [Respectable US] University, USA and the selection is done based on your profile and various other factors which our joint committee decides for this program by [Respectable US] University at Edureka.

You are required to enroll on or before the 23rd of April 2024 to utilize the special scholarship.

Now, you have the opportunity to study Cloud and advanced DevOps from [Respectable US] University. And upgrade your knowledge through a challenging curriculum.

-- The opening text from the SPAM message

When Security is Not Secure

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There are wide variations in the quality and security of identification used to gain access to secure facilities where there is potential for terrorist attacks. In order to eliminate these variations, U.S. policy is to enhance security, increase Government efficiency, reduce identity fraud, and protect personal privacy by establishing a mandatory, Government-wide standard for secure and reliable forms of identification issued by the Federal Government to its employees and contractors (including contractor employees). HSPD-12

The Commonwealth of Virginia is the latest state to move to RealID. And again, I ask, why?

For those who have not followed the issue, following the attacks on September 11, 2001, a number of these Homeland Security Presidential Directives were issued. Number 12 forms the basis for the RealID standard. Other documents in this bucket include the CAC/PIV card used by the Federal Government, Passport, Global Entry, and yes, driver’s licenses. And if you have blindly, or even grudgingly handed over your personal information to these agencies, you probably did not think about the actual directive. But since this new ID allows you to board an aircraft, you probably did not blink. But perhaps you should. After all, unless you are issued a CAC/PIV card, what sort of security is this new ID providing?

I will wait.

Still confused? Let me help you. The process likely goes like this. You handed over your old driver’s license, your passport or immigration status card, your social security number, and some proof of residency to a clerk at the DMV (mine had a passing familiarity with English) and boom, you have a RealID card that will get you access to airplanes, military bases, and other government buildings. You may not get past the front door, but you will get inside. And how does this enhance security? There is no background check run. There are no fingerprints, no FBI file. If, like me, you have had your driver’s license more than a week, all they do is check your eyesight and charge a processing fee. Virginia gives you the option to not get one. For a lower fee.

CAC/PIV cards are completely different. They do a background check. With fingerprints, and an FBI file. But not with most of the other documents.

Feel more secure now? Oh, and China called. They are willing to sell you your file back. For less than the processing fee you just paid.

Wait, What?

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The Latest: Trump administration looks to prevent pay freeze | WTOP

The Trump administration says it’s exploring ways to prevent a scheduled federal workers’ pay freeze from taking effect while government workers are furloughed by the partial shutdown.

And in the same voice:

Trump announced the pay freeze in his 2019 budget proposal in February and later in letters to Congress.

Is it any wonder Congress does not know what to put in a bill that 45 will sign when he is talking out of both parts of his ass at the same time?

I listened, now it is your turn

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I did not write this, but it sums up the previous eight years and highlights just what the next four years will be. And if you think I have pulled my punches before, you ain't seen nothing yet.

"I listened as they called my President a Muslim.
I listened as they called him and his family a pack of monkeys.
I listened as they said he wasn't born here.
I watched as they blocked every single path to progress that they could.
I saw the pictures of him as Hitler.
I watched them shut down the government and hurt the entire nation twice.
I watched them turn their backs on every opportunity to open worthwhile dialog.
I watched them say that they would not even listen to any choice for Supreme Court no matter who the nominee was.
I listened as they openly said that they will oppose him at every turn.
I watched as they did just that.
I listened.
I watched.
I paid attention.
Now, I'm being called on to be tolerant.
To move forward.
To denounce protesters.
To "Get over it."
To accept this...
I will not.
I will do my part to make sure this great American mistake becomes the embarrassing footnote of our history that it deserves to be.
I will do this as quickly as possible every chance I get.
I will do my part to limit the damage that this man can do to my country.
I will watch his every move and point out every single mistake and misdeed in a loud and proud voice.
I will let you know in a loud voice every time this man backs away from a promise he made to them.
Them. The people who voted for him.
The ones who sold their souls and prayed for him to win.
I will do this so that they never forget.
And they will hear me.
They will see it in my eyes when I look at them.
They will hear it in my voice when I talk to them.
They will know that I know who they are.
They will know that I know what they are.
Do not call for my tolerance. I've tolerated all I can.
Now it's their turn to tolerate ridicule.
Be aware, make no mistake about it, every single thing that goes wrong in our country from this day forward is now Trump's fault just as much as they thought it was Obama's.
I find it unreasonable for them to expect from me what they were entirely unwilling to give."

--Author Unknown

We Keep Shaving the English Language

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On the way to work this morning, I heard an advertisement for unlimited apps. For a moment, I thought it was for a new pricing scheme on the Apple store, or similar, but then they started talking about buffalo wings. It took me a moment to make the shift. And that confused me even more. And got me thinking, when did we start shaving the English language to the point that a commercial about appetizers has me thinking about software.

Once upon a time, there was a little code of software called an applet. Usually prefaced with Java, as in Java Applet. This was code that was downloaded from the server to a client, the first step along the way to the browser based world of today. You could argue that today's app comes from. You could also argue that it comes from an abbreviation of application. Which makes some limited sense, because they are small applications.

But when did we start shaving words that did no need to be truncated and make no sense to be truncated. My least favorite is convo, short for conversation. When did the word conversation get to be so bothersome that we needed to shorten it? Similarly with appetizer, being truncated to app. In Politics and the English language, George Orwell comments on how powerful words are, and not only that but how badly, for political reasons, words are warped and changed to no longer mean what they did, but what the body politic wants them to mean. A perfect modern example is pro-life. This does not mean the individual is actually in favor of life, just opposed to abortion. Most who claim to be pro-life also support the death penalty and, in the United States, the Second Amendment, both of which are completely in opposition to life.

Why would we shave the language this way? Why would we let ad agencies, and others get away with this sort of thing? Why? Because we are too lazy to prevent it from happening. I for one am not going to let it happen.

President 2016 – My dog is declaring his candidacy

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From this morning's WTOP:

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — Ohio’s John Kasich, a blunt governor who embraces conservative ideals but disdains the political sport of bashing Hillary Rodham Clinton, is to become the 16th notable Republican to enter the 2016 presidential race.

Teddy Lane
No, seriously, I think Teddy announced his candidacy today. Somewhere between his morning stretch and that bowl of kibble. And, I think, he has all the right qualifications. He is friendly to babies, outgoing, photogenic. He has a strong platform related to ensuring his people are held together as a unit. And he loves the feel of the wind in his ears. I have never heard him say a bad word about anyone, and the fertilizer he spreads around is more robust that what I have heard coming out of the mouths of most of the Presidential candidates so far. The only downside to his personality is his tendency to run as far and as fast as he can when he gets off the leash or out of the yard. But with all the new improvements around the White House, I am pretty sure that getting out is not something he is going to do very often. So when you are considering the options for 2016, I want you to consider Teddy for President. After all, he is just as qualified as any of the other candidates that have declared so far. On both sides of the aisle.

 

Congress is Upset?

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This morning, the Washington Post reported:

Some lawmakers, including top Democrats, express frustration that the U.N. Security Council gets the chance to vote on the deal this week, signaling the international community’s intention to dismantle the sanctions against Iran before Congress votes on it.NYTimes

I read this once, then I read it again. Then I forced myself to read it yet a third time. At some point, I thought the author was kidding. But no, if you read the New York Times article, you begin to understand something very important. That is that the United Nations Security Council, part of a a huge, multi-national organization is more responsive and flexible the the United States Congress.

The document in question is the Iran Nuclear Deal. About 180 pages in length. The United Nations Security Council members, apparently, has had sufficient time to read the deal and decided it knows enough to schedule a vote. The United States Congress, on the other hand, is getting ready to leave Washington for their summer recess, and therefore, will take the next sixty days to review the agreement, and then ponder whether it will vote. As a voting constituent, I ask two questions:

  • If this is such an important agreement, shouldn't Congress delay their vacation to deal with the work in front of them?
  • If this is not so important, then why are they upset that the United Nations Security Council is voting before them?

Me thinks Congress doth protest too much. Either that, or they really are less interested in their doing their job, than they are keeping their job.

The Corner Pharmacy

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Is the corner pharmacy a relic of the past? Oh, sure, if you want a quart of milk and some baby wipes at 3AM, it might be a convenient place to drop in. But if you are in need of medications, specifically, acute medications, they have to order them, and they will be available in two to four weeks. Maybe we should let Amazon know there is an untapped market here.

I am not talking about maintenance medicines. Those medicines you order 30 at a time to keep your blood pressure or your diabetes under control. Not the medicine that you know you need and that you can plan on when you pick them up. I am talking about those medicines that are meant to stave off something and you need them now. Pain medications, antibiotics. Those medications that, if ordered, are valueless by the time they arrive two to four weeks later. At best, the infection has been fought off. At worst, you will be dead (or in hospital).

Now, I am not saying that they need to stock all combinations of the medications that are on the market today. But one would think that basic pain medications, antibiotics, and other acute requirement medications would be on the shelf.  You would also expect that, if you were a regular customer, they would have your needs on file and since their automated systems can call you and tell you when your prescriptions are due for a refill, they could at least have those medicines on the shelf and ready for you to pick up. Even this seems to be too much of a challenge for most local pharmacies.

I do not understand why they are taking on supermarkets. Or rather, maybe I do understand better. Since they do not seem to stock medicines, as is their primary function, they have to make their money somehow.