I Do Not Have A Bucket List

Two items came into conjunction this morning.  One, a tweet:

What's on your bucket list? My list included being on Jeopardy.... Life is short- Live your dreams!

The other a text:
...hospice says he has a week, maybe two.

One of my friends is going to be on Jeopardy, the other is likely to be dead of cancer by the end of the month.

I am of that age where most would consider it middle age.  I have lived about half my life, depending on who you listen too, and based on my genetics.  I have been fortunate that I have attended more weddings than funerals.  But that might be changing.

What is on your bucket list? I do not have a bucket list.  Those that know me would agree I am not one to make lists.  Of any sort.  I do not have a to do list, I am barely organized enough to make grocery lists, or "things I need for the radio" lists.  I am not a list person.

So not having a bucket list is not a surprise. But I do admit that perhaps, just perhaps, I have not fully lived my dreams.  Come to think of it, over the last year, I have barely been living. Existing perhaps, but not living.  It is tough to do more than exist when you are under the hammer for getting things accomplished because of huge financial penalties hanging over you and your company if you do not deliver on time.

But, on the other hand, if I were to die today, I am not sure I could say, "I wish I had...".  And that is really the point.  I am not going to sit here and be falsely philosophical. I remember a discussion around the camp fire that went something like, if you had a $1 million, what would you do?  Of course, the things that were put forward were the usual - travel, help, etc., but in the end, the result was, "so what, really is stopping you?"  Because it isn't the money.  This is not exactly true, but to a point it is.  Over the weekend I helped out the Marine Corps Marathon Program Office with their 17.75K run.  A number of people said "Thank you for coming out this morning."  As a volunteer, that is our payment.  And having total strangers thank you for helping is a great feeling.

So, if you are keeping a bucket list, let me ask these two questions: Why, and why are you not knocking things off it?  When your ticket it punched, it is too late to start knocking things off your list.

Life is short.  Live your dreams.  Today.